All I seem to be good for these days are handing out apologies and making excuses for myself. I hate displacing the blame, because it's no one's fault but my own... but still.
I was drinking Sunday. A not so good friend came over and convinced me that I had been so good lately that I deserved a reward for my efforts. After saying no a few times, I caved because let's face it - I did want a drink. And what do you know the computer was right there waiting for me to mess everything up (again) and all I had was her in my ear goading, encouraging... so I signed on and of course I messed everything up again.
I can't even apologize anymore. I don't even know what to say to anyone. The apologies are sincere, even if I have to keep saying them... but now they are becoming so frequent it's embarrassing... but I'm still going to apologize anyway.
Again.
-A
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